Anxiety | Time-Out For Moms

Archive for Anxiety

Soothe Your Shyness – 7 Tips

Posted by: Guest Author | Comments (0)

Shy people instinctively know they are missing out. Shyness equals lost opportunities, less pleasure, and fewer social connections. Shyness can be crippling…but there are tried and tested ways to make it a thing of the past.

The formula for shyness is “too much focus on the self” plus anxiety. To make it even more unpleasant, sometimes when you are feeling shy, you experience physical sensations which “hijack” your calm, logical self.

How Shyness is Developed and Maintained:

Shyness is really a combination of social anxiety and social conditioning. To overcome shyness, you need to learn to relax socially. This enables you to direct your attention away from yourself and gives you the space to practice certain conversational skills. In most cases, the heightened emotions of socializing when young simply conditions the sufferer to respond to social events with fear, instead of excitement and pleasure.

Relaxed socializing is an advantage denied to many until they learn how to relax. To start reducing your own shyness, I want you to absorb the following tips and ideas and start to put them into practice:

7 Tips to Soothe Shyness:

Think about the way you feel and behave around familiar people you are comfortable and spontaneous around. It’s that feeling transferred to new people and situations that equates to your emerging social confidence.
Focus your attention away from yourself. Sure, you can think a little bit about how you are coming across, but if all your focus is on your own words and feelings then you might as well be by yourself. Notice what other people are wearing and make a mental note, listen to their conversation, imagine where they might live, make a point of remembering names. Not only does this give you more to talk about, it also “dilutes” social anxiety leaving you feeling calmer.
Ask people open questions. Many people like to talk about themselves and will find you interesting if you find them interesting. Ask questions that require more than a yes/no response such as, “What do you like about this place?” rather than, “Do you like this place?” Once they’ve answered, use “add-on” questions connected to the first one, such as: “‘What other places do you like in this city?” Next you can express your views. This is a great way to get the conversation going. If the conversation doesn’t “take,” then no matter, you’ve done your bit.
Stop trusting your imagination so much! Have you ever had an imaginary picture in your mind of a holiday destination only to arrive and find the reality is different from the way you had imagined? That’s how reliable imagination is. Stop imagining what others think. I’ve long since stopped trying to second guess what others think of me – it’s just too painful. Besides, what a person thinks about you has a lot more to do with who they are than who you are.
Stop using “all or nothing” thinking. The “completely this/completely that” style of thought occurs when you are emotional. People who are depressed, angry, or anxious see reality in terms of differing extremes, simplistic all or nothing terms. An angry person is “right” and you are “‘wrong”; the depressed person feels like a “failure” while others are “successful.”. In reality, life is composed of infinite gray areas. So stop fearing that you might say the “wrong” thing! Or, that people will “hate” you. Once you start to relax more socially, you’ll notice much less black and white thinking because anxiety actually causes you to think in all or nothing terms.
Take your time. You don’t have to blurt things out. Ask questions and if questions are asked of you, take time to consider your response (within reason). Don’t just blurt out what you think might be the “‘right” answer. A slow answer is a relaxed answer.
Finally, use hypnotic rehearsal. Hypnosis is the quickest way to change your instinctive/emotional response to any situation. Only think about meeting others when your mind and body is relaxed. This conditions you to associate relaxation with being around new people. In fact, you’ll find that when you relax deeply enough often enough while hypnotically rehearsing being comfortable around others, you’ll reach the point where you just can’t be shy any more! This is what I call a “‘happy inability!”

WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:

Overcome shyness now at HypnosisDownloads.com.Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.

How To Help A Loved One With Anxiety – By Jill Green

Posted by: Guest Author | Comments (5)

If you have a loved one who suffers from severe anxiety or panic attacks, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. You know they are in a lot of pain, and struggle with aspects of life that you don’t quite understand. You want to help, but maybe you don’t know how to approach the situation. Here are 10 tips to help a loved one with anxiety.

1. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power, and this is certainly the case here. There are a number of different anxiety disorders including: panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, obsessive compulsive disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder. Try to learn everything you can about your loved one’s type of anxiety. You can research hundreds of sites on the internet for information.

2. Support them by being a good listener. Sometimes your loved one will need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent their frustrations to, especially after a severe panic attack or while going through an anxiety provoking situation.

3. Assure them. Tell them it’s not their fault they have anxiety. They are not weak, worthless, or mentally ill. Let them know you believe in them and have every confidence that they can get better.

4. Be patient with them. Anxiety doesn’t just happen overnight, and anxiety treatment can take time as well.

5. Get help. Anxious people are often ashamed of their feelings, but keeping it a secret is not healthy. Encourage your loved one to talk to a doctor or therapist or try an anxiety self help program. For a list of recommended anxiety self-help programs, click here.

6. Help yourself. Helping your loved one can take its toll on you and zap your energy. It is crucial that you remember to take good care of yourself with adequate rest, nutrition, and taking time out to do things you enjoy. Don’t let your loved one’s anxiety overtake your life.

7. Advocate for them. Put yourself in their shoes, try to learn what having anxiety really feels like, and appreciate the stigma of mental illness they are faced with out in the world.

8. Vent your frustrations appropriately. It’s okay and perfectly normal to feel upset, angry, frustrated. These are valid feelings in response to a very trying situation. Join a support group like families anonymous or an internet forum where you can vent your feelings to others who are in similar situations.

9. Don’t take it personally. Remember that an anxious person’s behavior is not indicative of who they really are. The anxious person has impaired social skills. If they are irritable or withdrawn, it’s because they feel bad about their anxiety. Remember it’s not about you, and it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.

10. Love them unconditionally. When they truly know you care, this is the best medicine of all.

Keep these tips in mind when you want to help a loved one with anxiety. As your loved one begins to get their anxiety under control, you can be their biggest champion. If you care about someone with anxiety, these are great ways to help.

Jill Green is a recovering anxious person who no longer lives in fear of her next panic attack. Life is beautiful! To learn more, or to start your own recovery from anxiety and panic today, visit her anxiety self-help blog.

Where to go from here: