Conquer Fear and Anxiety

Are fear and anxiety strangling the life out of you? What is the difference between fear and anxiety, or are they one and the same? Fear is the expectation of impending danger. Anxiety is a reaction to a real or imagined danger. Generalized anxiety manifests itself in a web of excessive worries that interfere with your daily life. You may feel tense, restless, dizzy, and depressed. You may:

• Obsess about finances, health, and world issues.
• Develop eating disorders.
• Forget how to sleep, or awaken several times during the night.
• Constantly feel that something “bad” is about to happen.

Do you find yourself neglecting and resenting your husband? Would you rather sleep than have sex with him? Is the tension in your marriage mounting?

Do you find it hard to breathe? To concentrate? To laugh? To find joy and pleasure in every precious moment of your life?

Do these thoughts sound familiar?

• I worry incessantly about my child’s health.
• I can’t decide if vaccinations are dangerous or safe.
• It’s my fault my child is autistic.
• I’m terrified that my children will get Swine Flu, Avian Flu, or some other nightmare virus.
• I’m afraid my baby will die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)
• I’m an emotional mess around my children
• I’m always yelling at my children
• I think I’m losing my mind.
• I’m a bad mother and don’t deserve to be happy.

Fear and anxiety are shortening your life. They are robbing you of happiness. They are stealing your very essence and turning you into someone who will NOT be a good mother or wife. In other words, your worst fear will come true…you will be completely ineffective. The fear of BABM (Being A Bad Mother) will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Rest assured, you are NOT alone. Over 20 million Americans suffer from anxiety disorders; a collection of psychological problems stemming from unhealthy and unnatural anxiety and irrational fears.

Fortunately, there are simple techniques you can use to alleviate these negative and paralyzing emotions:

1. Self-Hypnosis: This simple technique will enable you to control your thoughts and behaviors. Once you’ve mastered self-hypnosis, you will be able to eliminate your fears and anxieties, as well as other negative behaviors, such as smoking, overeating, phobias, insomnia, and depression.
2. Focused Breathing: When you’re stressed or anxious, your breathing becomes shallow and erratic. For instant relaxation and energy, inhale through your nose, hold for three counts, then exhale gradually through your mouth (like a slow whistle). Take two more deep breaths, then repeat as often as possible throughout the day.
3. Visualization: Set a timer for five minutes, and enter a quiet room where you will not be disturbed. While you practice your focused breathing, imagine a blank movie screen. Suddenly, the screen lights up and you’re staring at the movie of your life. Visualize yourself and your life as you want it to be. Maintain those images in your mind throughout the session. Build up to 20 minutes a day.
4. Meditation: Go back to your quiet room, take three deep focused breaths, clear your mind of all thoughts. Depending on the type of meditation, you may focus on one word, one “mantra,” one image, or on your breath itself. Meditation is an effective way to balance your mind and body. Aim for 20 minutes a day.
5. Positive Affirmations: If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, such as, “I’m worthless” and “I don’t deserve happiness,” you must change the tape in your mind. Awareness is the first step. When you catch yourself thinking these thoughts, silently yell “STOP” to yourself, and replace them with positive thoughts, such as, “I’m valuable” and “I deserve happiness.” By changing the negative tapes in your head to positive ones, you will transform your life forever.
6. Exercise: You don’t have to run a marathon or join a health club. Try this with your kids. Skip, jump, and gallop around the house. Run in place with them. Play hopscotch, shoot basketballs, or just play catch.
7. Play: You and your children can play games such as, “follow the leader,” “Simon says,” and “hide and seek.” Laughter and playtime need to be incorporated into your daily life. When you take a break from your role as “mother,” you and your children will relate on a completely new level, one that will lead to enhanced communication and bonding.
8. Music Time: Dancing and singing are great activities to do with your kids. It’s relaxing, fun, and, yes, great exercise. Play your favorite songs and teach your kids the words. Show them the dances from your youth and get them to dance along with you.
9. Bubble Bath: Light some candles, put on soft music, grab your favorite book, and soak in the tub for a few minutes. You deserve it. It will renew you and your outlook.
10. Romance and Sex: Arrange a playdate for your kids at a neighbor’s house. Erase the mental image of “mother” and replace it with the image of “hot woman.” Plant mysterious, seductive notes in your husband’s wallet, briefcase, or lunchbox. Call him during the day and leave enticing messages on his voice mail. Surprise him at odd times with “naughty” suggestions. Keep the romance alive and remember you are a woman first, a mother second. Let your imagination run wild. Initiating sexual encounters with your husband will create an atmosphere of healthy lust and love. It is the ultimate relaxation technique.

Any combination of these techniques will help you conquer your fears and anxieties. Your personality will dictate which methods are most effective for you. Release yourself from the grip of fear and anxiety. Live every day of your life in the moment and to the fullest extent.