The Haiti Earthquake: How To Help Children Cope

The Haiti earthquake has raised the level of fear in this country to code RED. Feelings of panic, helplessness, anxiety, and sheer terror are fueled by blood-thirsty media moguls on a quest to gain higher ratings.

We’ve been reminded, once again, of the fragility of life. How, in a split second, our lives can be altered forever. Although the Haiti earthquake is an example of the unpredictability of nature, we should also be mindful of the fact that good fortune can occur just as unexpectedly.

The next phone call you receive might be a job offer. You might find out that your “runaway” teenager has been found, alive. You may be holding a winning lottery ticket, but have been too busy to check it.

This adventure called “life” is a bumpy one. Both wonderful and tragic events are but a heartbeat away. All the more reason for you to cherish every precious moment and take nothing, and no one, for granted.

Has worry, anxiety, or nervousness ever changed anything in your life? No, it has not. What it does, however, is rob you of living “in the moment.” The phrase, “A coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave die but once,” is as true today as when Shakespeare wrote it.

What is the best way to help our children cope with tragedies, such as the Haiti earthquake, hurricanes like Katrina and Andrew, tsunamis, acts of terrorism, or any potpourri of disasters that await us?

Your first obligation as a parent is to protect your child. Do not let them watch news stories that show images of death, destruction, and mayhem. These visions may be branded into their minds and souls, never to be erased or forgotten. If your child is already experiencing anxiety or night terrors, you need to be proactive NOW.

Stop watching the news until things settle down. No one in the family needs to be exposed to horrendous, nightmare-inducing footage. If you want to help the Haitian people, contact The Red Cross, Mercy Corps, or some other legitimate relief group. Unfortunately, you must also be aware of scam artists who may call and ask for money. Send money or supplies only to established organizations that you trust.

Take your children with you if you donate in person. Let them participate in the process of “giving.” This is one of the few positive things you can do during a disaster. This kind of proactive contribution helps to give you and your family a sense of control and purpose.

Talk to your children about their fears. Take them to the library and read books together on earthquakes, volcanoes, tornadoes, hurricanes, or any other natural phenomena you may experience in your region. Discuss the science behind these events. Information is power. Master your fears through knowledge.

If your child is inconsolable, or if your family has lost a loved one in a previous disaster, the images on your screen could open old wounds and conjure up past memories. Do not hesitate to seek a therapist immediately. Traumatic experiences leave an indelible mark and should be dealt with by a professional.

Take control of your family’s well-being, and maintain a state of preparedness.

• Establish a meeting place where your family can reunite after an earthquake or other disaster.
• Find out what the emergency plans are at your child’s school or daycare.
• Devise a plan with your neighbors for what to do after the disaster strikes.

It’s important to ALWAYS keep emergency supplies in your home, garage, car, and place of employment. An emergency can be defined as an earthquake, tornado, hurricane, flood, or any other natural or man-made disaster. We don’t have the luxury of sticking our heads in the sand. Denial and procrastination can lead to dire consequences. Catastrophes do happen, and it’s not always to other people on the other side of the world.

If you remain rational and use common sense, you will exude the confidence and control your child expects and deserves from you. Hysteria and panic are contagious, as are serenity and courage. Which traits do you want your child to emulate? Your children are watching your every move, your every emotion. Model strength, not weakness.

Here is a list of basic emergency items to have on-hand at all times.

• First-aid kit and handbook.
• Fire extinguisher.
• Flashlights with extra bulbs and batteries.
• An adequate supply of medications taken by you or any member of your family.
• Canned and packaged foods, enough for several days, and a manual can opener. Extra food for pets, if necessary.
• Crescent and pipe wrenches to turn off gas and water supplies.
• Water for each family member for a minimum of two weeks (allow at least one gallon per person per day), and purification tablets or chlorine bleach to purify drinking water from other sources.
• Portable radio with extra batteries.
• Waterproof, heavy-duty plastic bags for waste disposal.
• Camp stove or barbeque to use outdoors (store fuel away from children).

No one wants to plan for a potential disaster. But, planning does not mean you WILL have a disaster any more than car insurance means you WILL have an accident. As parents, we must acknowledge the fact that bad things do happen. Ignoring the possibility is not going to stop Mother Nature. Your best chance of survival is preparation.

We should view the horrendous earthquake in Haiti as a wake-up call. A learning lesson for ourselves and our children. Protecting our children from exploitative images on television is only one part of the equation. We must continue to protect, prepare, and remain vigilant over our children at all times.

Please share any experiences you’ve had with natural disasters, and the ways in which you coped and survived.